Weight 5,000 lbs, number of things eaten today 3, number of times have wandered house aimlessly 32, number of times have beaten self with overly-large textbook 12 (not v.g.)


Am far from wonderful. Am instead disgusting heap of lard. Am Queen of Lard, as only Lard will worship me.
Am also man-poison. Thought I was going through a phase of relief from such belief, but am wrong.
Am depressed.
Wish that I could consume chocolates. Have no chocolates to consume. And could not consume chocolates anyway, as am on another infernal diet of sorts.
Hate self. Hate diets. Hate men.
Will go drink water and eat carrot sticks while watching reruns of SNL and pretending I have boyfriend who is Jimmy Fallon.